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Monday, May 18, 2015

Famous Classic Women Beauty Routines

We Tried The Ancient Egyptian Beauty Routine

Photographed by Jonathon Kambouris; Prop Styled by Michele Faro/Art Department.

Day 3
On to skin care. Since I don't have a fireplace, and hence, no spare ashes, nor any animal fat around to make my own soap, I went for the next best option and bought some handmade charcoal soap from a local apothecary. Using the same bar of soap on my face and body made me feel like every guy I ever knew in college, and was a far cry from my usual cleansing-oil-and-face-wash routine. In the shower, my skin started to feel tight after washing off the soap and I worried I was drying the bejeezus out of it. But, I kept at it. You will not defeat me, bar soap.

Day 4
My face-oil game is already pretty strong, so I was the least worried about this one. I was merely going from using an oil two to three times a week to using it all the time. With one exception — in the morning. Unlike the ancient Egyptians, I know what melanoma is, so you can pry my SPF moisturizer out of my cold, dead hands.

In the evenings, I used Tatcha's Pure One Step Camellia Cleansing Oil to remove my makeup, and then patted my face dry with Napoleon Perdis' Cleansing Muslin Cloths. Not really the most absorbent. After shaking my face around a bit like a dog and using my hands to try to pat off the excess water, I then placed a few drops of Kypris' Beauty Elixir II in my hands and pressed the oil all over my face.

Mornings consisted of cleansing oil, followed by my trusty Skin Laundry Advanced Protection Moisturizer SPF 35. My body got a healthy application of Caldrea's Aloe Water Apricot Body Oil, a nice change for me because I'm the type of person who's just too lazy to apply lotion. There's one good thing about this experiment already.

Day 5
How are my legs still stubble-free? Did I break my hair follicles? How many layers of skin did that razor remove?

Photographed by Jonathon Kambouris; Prop Styled by Michele Faro/Art Department.

Day 6
Kohl eyeliner is still pretty commonplace in the makeup world, so I had no problem finding that. Harder was limiting myself to gray and green, two colors that aren't in my normal eye-makeup repertoire. I stared forlornly at my extensive eyeliner collection, 99% of which I couldn't use anymore. I'll pause here while you get out your tiny violins and play a sad, sweet dirge for my suffering.

That was beautiful, thank you. I grabbed Maybelline's Master Kajal Liner in Charcoal Skies and drew on a reverse cat-eye for the ages. Hey, if I'm only allowed to wear kohl liner and brow powder, I'm going big.

Day 7
Oh good, more oils. I'm starting to miss the feeling of a nice gel-cream on my face.

Day 8
Okay, finally, there's some stubble! Razor time. The poky pace of my shave has added an extra 20 minutes to my morning routine. I've gotten adept at apologizing for my tardiness. I mean, I could also wake up a little bit earlier...nah.

Day 9
My skin is starting to look kind of amazing. The charcoal soap, even though it feels a bit tight after rinsing, is actually doing wonders for my skin. My breakouts — face and body — are clearing up, and my pores are looking significantly less noticeable. There's something to this stuff.

Day 10
Note to self: Do not put silk pants on directly after slathering your legs with body oil. It will not end well for you or the pants.

Day 11
I really need to get better at using brow powder. I can't get the hang of using the brush to create tiny flicking motions like I do with my usual brow pencil. Instead, I just get big smudges of colors randomly dotted through my arches that I have to try to rub in vigorously with my finger. I look like Groucho Marx's angry daughter.

Day 12
Blearily reached for a duo-chrome eyeshadow this morning before realizing Nefertiti probably wasn't swiping sparkle pigments on her lids. Damn Nefertiti. Gray kohl liner it is.

Day 13
I'm so bored with wearing the same makeup look for the past two weeks that I just said "Screw it," and went bare-faced today. To my surprise, I actually looked kind of good. The charcoal soap has given my skin a smoothness and clarity I haven't seen since my pre-pubescent years, and the oils have been imparting a nice dewiness to my face that puts illuminators to shame.

Day 14
Razor time again. Starting to look forward to using my chic little gold hair remover. It makes me feel so fancy. Fearful for my life, but also fancy.

Photographed by Jonathon Kambouris; Prop Styled by Michele Faro/Art Department.